“Are You Excited?”
I don’t know how to answer that question.
…And I wonder if the people I talk to are more excited about our adoption than I am. Or at least, that’s what you might think based on my reaction to this question. It’s been such a long wait for us (2 years since we started the paperwork!) so lots of people are excited about the possibility of the Wards having a baby any day now.
Sidenote: we are matched with a birthmom and she is due any day now…thus the excitement!
But for our family, we’ve been through a year of 3 failed adoptions. We’ve been in the room for the C-section, blood on the floor, and walked away with nothing. We’ve taken care of two babies in the hospital, changed diapers and rocked them to sleep, and walked away with nothing. We’ve changed car tires in the rain, for one our birth-moms, and walked away with nothing.
Or you would think we had nothing if you didn’t step back and see God’s hand at work in our lives.
This past year has been incredibly hard, but we’ve learned the wisdom of waiting on the Lord.
This week, my daughter brought home a bible verse to memorize. It comes from Isaiah 40. She only has to memorize the last verse, but reading the larger passage myself I found it to be a message from the Lord…
Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth
does not become tired or grow weary;
There is no searching of His understanding. [How soon I forget…]
He gives strength to the weary,
And to him who has no might, He increases power.
Even youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly, [And I’m not as young as I used to be!]
But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him]
Will gain new strength and renew their power;
They will lift up their wings [and rise up, closer to God] like eagles [rising toward the sun];
They will run and not become weary,
They will walk and not grow tired. -Isaiah 40:27-31 AMP
It would be easy to look at our family and assume that we’ve survived a year of “nothing”, but the opposite is true. We have been tired and weary. We have been searching for understanding. But through expecting, looking and hoping we are seeing the LORD work…we are rising on wings like eagles…closer to our God.
And who knows…maybe we’ll have a baby soon!